I hate writing.
Let me tell you, 3am isn't a good time to be alone with thoughts like that. I deleted the blog post I wrote the day before, deleted any mention of me being happy the past few days on Twitter, Triberr got deleted and the AWYN page didn't survive either. Neither did the newsletter.
What happened to all the progress I had made the day before?
Thankfully, I had a friend who kept weird hours (Martian time I was informed) and in Europe another friend was waking to talk to. (Thank you Blaine and Mara) I didn't go into details with them. I was already raw from the day, but just having someone to chit chat with was enough to calm my mind and allow me to attempt sleep (painkillers for the headache helped too.) Later on Wednesday, I emailed MB and talked to her about the 3am incident.
She said, "If you hated writing, it would show in your writing. Know what I mean? And it doesn't, at least not to me."
She also told me it was okay to take a breather from writing. It's more important that I destress and focus on being happy. Enjoy family time during the holidays. Writing could wait until the new year.
I think that's what I needed more than anything. No pressure to get back to writing. No guilt tripping about not writing. MB's a good friend. =D