I rewrote this post about four times already. Each time, I felt like I was being too whiny and nothing anyone said would change anything. So I set it aside and came back. Even then I was struggling with what to say. Finally, I figured something out and hit save.
Now I'm back and rewriting.
I'm rewriting this post because my mood has vastly improved since I first started this post. I was down in the dumps. Sales for the month were lacking. My blog tour kept have participants change their reviews to promos. I was counting down the days until it was done. Writing felt impossible. Especially with others shouting their successes. I've never been one to be inspired by another's success. In college, the art professors would pick the best ones out of a class and pin their work up in the hallways. Meant to inspire others, but all I could think was, "I'll never be that good." My pessimism at work.
So as I was trying to write this blog post, I had all this negativity swirling in my head. It was crippling. Even knitting wasn't helping to relive any of it. Finally, hubby and I sat down to figure out what to do. Find a new job or stay at the current. We decided to stay at the current.
O.M.G. I cannot describe how I felt the second we had that figured out. Suddenly, I could think. The dark cloud over me was gone. A couple friends got a tweet that said, "FYI, I don't hate the world anymore." I realized that's why all my previous attempts at this post failed. Nothing anyone said would make me feel better. I had to do it myself. Sometimes, that's how it goes. You can whine and complain all you want. People can assure you it will be okay. In the end, if you don't take charge, you'll be stuck and things won't be okay.