I have been waiting for this day for a couple weeks. I like IWSG. It makes me feel safe and unafraid of venting. That's not something I always feel. Often, I don't vent because I either A)Don't trust the person I'm talking to or B)Don't want the person I'm talking to to worry.
Now that IWSG is here, I'm not sure I want to talk. I wrote a post, getting into some of my insecurities and my struggle to find the energy and motivation to write.
Then I deleted it.
I guess my problem is I know I'm struggling, and if I say something about it, people are going to try to motivate me. It's why I do myself when I know a friend is struggling. I cheer them on, remind them they can do it, to persevere. Later, we're proud of what they accomplished.
But sometimes, you don't want encouragement. You just want an ear to talk at or a shoulder to lean on. Someone to say, "Yeah, it sucks. I understand you." Or at least I do, and since I know most people's gut reaction is to help, I keep quiet. I don't want to hear that, you'll just guilt trip me so I'm just going to lie and say I'm tired.
So yeah, I'm having a hard time finding the motivation and energy to do anything writing related and I know of a bunch of reasons that are contributing to the lack of enthusiasm. I kind of want to talk about it, but I don't. In the end, I sit, silent and staring at my computer screen, and letting time waste.