 It's time for the Insecure Writer's Support group again. IWSG is posted the first Wednesday of every month. It is the brain child of Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh. Get your fears and insecurities out or give words of encouragement. We're writers, let's support each other! First off, I'd like to point out, if you haven't heard by now, the IWSG book, The Insecure Writer’s Support Group Guide to Publishing and Beyond is available! Grab your copy at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, or Smashwords. On to my insecurities. I don't even know where to freaking begin. Seriously, where do I begin? That's kind of an honest question. It's IWSG time so I'm attempting to be honest and admit things I normally keep to myself. I'd like help, but it's not easy for me to share, and the end results usually leave me feeling stupid. That's probably why I don't share. I say I feel like a crappy writer and someone will reply, "No, you're not." or "You just have to give it time to grow an audience." Like I'm an idiot. (Yes, I understand it's not their intention, but that's how I end up feeling. It's not a good feeling and I don't need help feeling that way.) Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm going the wrong way. My audience is shrinking. With Being Human, I had managed to grow a little audience, but over time, it's shrunk and dwindled instead of grow (look at my follower widgets as an example. Those numbers haven't changed since April.) It's not from the lack of trying. I do promotions and try to get the word out, I tweet about things other than my books and retweet cool things I see. People tell me what I write is interesting, that it doesn't suck, but things still seem to keep going in the wrong direction. I'm not running out of ideas to try, but the motivation and drive is failing. Disappointment is dragging me down (this fatigue problem isn't helping.) Why bother keeps popping in my head. My main answer right now is I'm too stubborn. I don't want to quit or be a complete failure, so I keep slogging on. Kind of like this post. I can't really say what the point of it is. Is it motivational or a plea for help? Beats me. Maybe it's just honesty. Things really suck for me writing-wise and I feel really down in the dumps and I'm not sure how to pull myself out. But I'm refusing to give in. Who knows if that will be enough. PS: I wrote this while feeling pretty crummy. Doing better today, in case you were curious. 
19 Comments
12/2/2014 10:36:43 pm
Glad to hear you're feeling better today.
cleemckenzie
12/2/2014 11:31:36 pm
Keep feeling better! And don't be discouraged. Write what you love, tell people about it and find joy in the process of doing both. 12/3/2014 12:55:28 am
Glad you're feeling better. I'm not anywhere near published yet so I can't really speak on having an audience. But we all get into slumps for whatever reason. Just don't let it stop you from writing. 12/3/2014 02:06:51 am
What Cherie said. My sales have been low this year as well. Not sure what the shift is, but I'm sure it's just a shift. I've also gained very few followers this year. All I can do is keep moving forward and try to adjust.
Does it help to know it's not just you? As to following... I think a lot of people just link you to a reader now and might not show up as followers. Shrug. 12/3/2014 05:12:45 am
Glad to hear you're feeling a little better. 12/3/2014 06:16:46 am
Hang in there. Writing can be so personal that it's hard not to be insecure about it, but remember that you are going for your dreams and that's one of the bravest things you can do! Try and focus on everything about you're writing you're proud of, instead of what brings you down. 12/3/2014 09:15:26 am
I hope writing this down helped a bit, and I'm glad you're better now. I was feeling down myself and disappointed because I've just failed this year with my writing goals and such, so even though we have our own experiences, add fatigue to your life, I still understand. Hugs ;) 12/3/2014 10:31:20 am
That does sound disappointing, but I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm right on the edge of self-publishing and I know I'll have days like this, too. But writing is what I love most to do. Publishing my own stories is my dream and I won't give up on it. I hope you will continue to write and pursue your dream and not let the disappointments take the fun out of it.
Diane Burton
12/3/2014 10:41:11 am
Good to know you're doing better today. Isn't it great we belong to a group that says it's okay to feel crappy? Hang in there. 12/3/2014 02:30:26 pm
Hi there, 12/3/2014 03:18:07 pm
I don't have enough time in the game to be able to compare my audience year over year, but I am sorry to hear that you're feeling like this is going in the wrong direction. I don't have the answers, but I agree with so many of the others that writing is done because you have stories to tell. My own post today was about my fear that I'm doing it all wrong. If there is one thing I have learned, it's that there is no single right way. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I need to find that balance where I am happy writing and it isn't all-consuming. Sending a hug!
*hugs* 12/3/2014 11:06:55 pm
It's best to share your insecurities with people you trust. The IWSG is a trustworthy and supportive group. Keep writing and trying and don't give up. 12/4/2014 05:16:56 am
We all go through ups and downs, that's just human nature. About the following, I don't think many writers can say their following is growing, specially indy or small publishing houses' writers. I used to beat myself up for not having more fans each day, but now I'm over it. I just don't pay attention. I write because I love it. I'll keep trying to reach as many people as I can, but that's not why I write. When I realized it, I felt a lot better.
We briefly chatted back and forth about this on Twitter during Story Dam this evening, but this post really resonates with me. My audience has dropped off over the past couple of years, but I have moments where I feel like I suck at writing -- and I also have had life drama that gets in the way of my writing and publishing. Leave a Reply. |
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