Patricia Lynne, Independent Author
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Some days

6/11/2012

10 Comments

 
I'm going to warn you right now, this post is honest. I'm not going to sugar coat anything or pretend everything is rainbows and unicorns.

Today has been... blue. My spirits are in the dirt and my motivation MIA. I wrote 3 or 4K on a short today and it all felt lack luster. The words were't bad, but there was no emotion, no connection to the character. I wasn't feeling what I felt when I started his story a couple days ago.

Various things have got me down right now. My chair broke and I need a new one. I also need a new canopy for outside craft shows. Neither of those are cheap to replace. I'm waiting on payment from the Turkish rights deal before I can get either of them plus a birthday present for hubby. Let's not talk about how so far this months my sales for Being Human make me want to curl up in a ball and sob.
I'm so close to 666 followers on twitter. My announcement of a prize when I hit 666 was followed by a drop in followers. Since then the number has hovered a few shy. I keep tweeting, but 666 remains elusive. And honestly, I'm starting to feel like I'm spamming everyone. How do some do it? How do they get RT after RT? How do they find people who will hawk their stuff without asking?

I tried blogging about it and having a bonus giveaway, but that doesn't seem to be generating much interest either. It's not that people aren't seeing the post either. My blog hits are great but it's not translating into entries. By morning I expect I'll be so bummed I'll delete all my writing and never leave the bedroom. Okay, that's an exaggeration. I won't delete my writing and I have to leave the bedroom But it's making me consider never bothering with offering to give my book away as a prize. Am I just not interesting or talented enough? Am I doing something wrong? I'm trying to find interesting stuff that people want to comment on.

This is all a song and dance I've done before. Usually, I keep quiet. Others writers are always stressing: Be professional. Which can translate into: Don't be a bitch, don't whine or complain. People only want to see you happy and hear about how well you're doing. Except I'm not happy and doing well all the time. My life has it's ups and downs and that includes my writing. I hate having to bite my tongue when I want to be open and honest. I want to share the good and the bad. I'm not perfect, but if I only show the good and perfect things then people won't know the real me. I'll be an illusion. A fake. Here's some of the bad that comes with the good.

Some days I feel utterly hopeless. Some days I want to whine and moan. Some days I want to hide. Some days I just want someone to notice me (yes, even with all my anti-social proclamations.) Some days it'd be nice if people scratched my back too. Some days a little reassurance would be nice.

Some days I'm less a writer and only human.
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10 Comments
L.M. Murphy link
6/13/2012 01:27:32 am

You ARE human, so it's okay to have days like this. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being open and honest about the fact that you had a crappy day. It happens. I for one like knowing that my favourite writers are regular people just like me. :)

*hugs* Hang in there. It'll get better. And for the record, the only reason I didn't enter the giveaway was because I have Being Human on my Kobo and loved it. I promise I'll RT the hell out of any more mentions of the giveaway, I has been a bad follower.

Now, to go talk to Lor about her post. ^__^

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Patricia Lynne link
6/13/2012 02:46:49 am

I know. It's always better the next day... after I sleep. Man, sleep just rocks. lol

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Jessica Dragon Cheramie link
6/13/2012 08:17:47 am

You are not alone. My sales have dropped drastically this month. I think and maybe I'm wrong, but right now kids are getting out of school, summers are being planned, and it's a stressful time of year. At least that is my thoughts. Hang in there. It will get better. :o)

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Patricia Lynne link
6/13/2012 08:26:01 am

You may be onto something about school being let out. I'm hanging in here. Always do. Just felt like ranting a bit first. ^^

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Lor Rose link
6/13/2012 11:17:24 am

>.< I've had the same funk this week. Haven't written a thing that I love and scraped everything... Plotted though but meh not what needed to be done.

Next week will be better! I say so! -falls from swivel chair-

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Patricia Lynne link
6/13/2012 03:32:21 pm

We were in a funk together!

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Sarah link
6/16/2012 01:50:25 am

Gotta hate those damn funks. But hey! You got an awesome new blog! I started catching up on making my visits and when I got to your Blogger blog, was like "Where'd she go? Oh, there she is!" :) Hurray! Funks don't usually last forever, but it's good to get frustrations off your chest.

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Patricia Lynne link
6/16/2012 07:31:08 am

Thanks. Yeah, getting my frustration off my chest helped me get over it faster. =D

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Chihuahua0 link
6/17/2012 02:34:49 pm

I have also been in a little of a funk, with a large motivation problem going on. I feel like no one cares for me enough and that's fueling my procrastination.

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Patricia Lynne link
6/18/2012 02:41:25 pm

Feeling like no one cares is a big part of my funk moments.

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