1: dark, murky, or obscure
It scared me how my mind was a tenebrous place. My thoughts were of murder and destruction. I didn’t know why I felt this way. Only that I did.
For a while, it was enough, but slowly an urge rose. I didn’t want to just think. I wanted to do. It terrified me and I tried to ignore it. But it grew from a whisper to a shout that drove me out into the world. When the moment came, my pulse rushing as fast of the blood pouring from the wound, I finally understood what it meant to be alive.